Clever Facebook Status Quotes

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I decided to cancel my Twitter account. I dont want to sound paranoid, but Im pretty sure people are following me.
[Unknown] [Clever Facebook Status]

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I really like ceilings...I guess you could call me a Ceiling fan.
[Unknown] [Clever Facebook Status]

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You remind me of my Chinese friend...Ug Lee
[Unknown] [Clever Facebook Status]

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Never on schedule, but always on time.
[Clever Facebook Status] [Nas] [Clever Facebook Statuses]

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Better late than never, but never late is better.
[Drake] [Clever Facebook Status] [Clever Facebook Statuses]

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I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.
[Unknown] [Clever Facebook Status] [Clever Facebook Statuses]

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I've always wanted to spin around in a chair & say: "Ive been expecting you..."
[Unknown] [Clever Facebook Status]

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Ladies, easy way to tell if a guy is married? Look into his eyes, if there is any life left, he's single.
[Unknown] [Clever Facebook Status]

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Just thought a thought but the thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought I thought.
[Unknown] [Clever Facebook Status]

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Crayola just added a new color to there crayon box its called jersey shore orange
[Unknown] [Clever Facebook Status]

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That awkward moment When you're having a conversation telling a really awesome story and then u realize no one's listening to u so u kinda stop mid-sentence
[Unknown] [Conversation] [Clever Facebook Status]

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If you listen closely you can hear the gas pump tell your kid's college fund to go f*ck itself.
[Unknown] [Clever Facebook Status]

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That awkward moment when your gone for 2 weeks and expect to have like a ZILLION notifications but you end up only having like, 3.
[Unknown] [Clever Facebook Status]

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Am I on facebook because I'm bored, or am bored because I'm on facebook?
[Unknown] [Clever Facebook Status] [Witty Facebook Status]

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I was planning to do something today, but I haven't finished doing nothing from yesterday.
[Unknown] [Clever Facebook Status] [Bad Day]

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Are you free tomorrow? No, Im fucking expensive.
[Unknown] [Funny Facebook Status] [Clever Facebook Status]

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Facebook is that insecure chick that keeps changing her hairstyle &/or color until she finally loses her mind and shaves it & scares everyone.
[Unknown] [Funny Facebook Status] [Clever Facebook Status]

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'Are you athletic?' Yes, I surf the Net.
[Unknown] [Funny Facebook Status] [Clever Facebook Status]

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Deleting your Facebook is like running away from home. You're only doing it for attention and you'll be back in a day.
[Unknown] [Funny Facebook Status] [Clever Facebook Status]