Clever Facebook Status Quotes

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You remind me of my Chinese friend...Ug Lee
[Unknown] [Clever Facebook Status]

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Better late than never, but never late is better.
[Drake] [Clever Facebook Status] [Clever Facebook Statuses]

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'Are you athletic?' Yes, I surf the Net.
[Unknown] [Funny Facebook Status] [Clever Facebook Status]

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Deleting your Facebook is like running away from home. You're only doing it for attention and you'll be back in a day.
[Unknown] [Funny Facebook Status] [Clever Facebook Status]

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'Are you as bored as I am?' Makes sense even when you read it backwards...
[Unknown] [Funny Facebook Status] [Clever Facebook Status]

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My 'check engine' light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and the engine is still there.
[Unknown] [Funny] [Funny Facebook Status] [Clever Facebook Status]

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Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? They named him "Sum Ting Wong".
[Unknown] [Clever Facebook Status]

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I was complimented on my driving today. Someone left a note on my windshield that said, 'Parking Fine'
[Unknown] [Clever Facebook Status] [Driving]

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Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present.
[Unknown] [Clever Facebook Status] [Clever Facebook Statuses]

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I love how, in scary movies, the person yells out, "Hello?" As if the bad guy is gonna be like, "Yeah, I'm in the kitchen! Want a sandwich?
[Unknown] [Clever Facebook Status]

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Did you know that "Dammit I'm Mad" spelled backwards is "Dammit I'm Mad?"
[Unknown] [Clever Facebook Status]

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Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
[Unknown] [Clever Facebook Status]

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Go to a parking lot and put sticky notes on people's cars saying "sorry for the damage." watching them is priceless
[Unknown] [Clever Facebook Status]

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A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, i'm afraid of widths.
[Unknown] [Clever Facebook Status]

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I answer "unknown" calls on my cell phone because i'm a fearless person.
[Unknown] [Clever Facebook Status]

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So I saw a butterfly with no wings today. I poured some Red Bull and BAM! ...It drowned.
[Unknown] [Clever Facebook Status]

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Dont let your ears "witness" what your eyes didn't see...& don't let your mouth speak what your heart doesn't feel.
[Unknown] [Clever Facebook Status] [Clever Facebook Statuses]

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That awkward moment when people constaly say "You know?" Its like, why are you telling me stuff I know? You know?
[Unknown] [Clever Facebook Status]

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Rearrange these words: 1) PNEIS 2) HTIELR 3) NGGERI 4) BUTTSXE... Did you read: Spine, lither, ginger and subtext? Naughty Naughty.
[Unknown] [Clever Facebook Status]

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What do you call a gay drive by? A fruit roll up
[Unknown] [Clever Facebook Status]