Nonsense Quotes

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Nonsense is to sense, as shade to light; it heightens effect
[Nonsense] [Frederick Saunders]

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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?
[Lewis Carroll] [Nonsense] [Mad Hatter]

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A little nonsense now and then, Is cherished by the wisest men.
[Wisdom] [Nonsense] [John August]

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I just realized my lips are inside out. They should be turned inwards, because I spend most of my time talking to myself.
[Jarod Kintz] [Time] [Communication] [Realization] [Nonsense] [Talking] [Talk] [Lips] [Introvert] [Lunatic] [Communicate] [Inside Out]

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We are no longer the knights who say Ni! We are now the knights who say ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing!
[Change] [Nonsense] [Graham Chapman] [Silly Quotes]

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Xxxx xxxx x xxxx, xxxxx xxx x xxx xxx x xxxx. Xxxx xxxx xxxx x xxxxx xxxx xx Xxxxxxx.
[Funny] [Nonsense] [Pseudonymous Bosch] [Pseudonymous] [The Name Of This Book Is Secret] [Boch]

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I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.
[Money] [Rich] [Nonsense] [Steve Martin]

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If one unlabeled bottle holds nonfat milk, what does the second unlabeled bottle contain? If you answered Whole milk then you?re obviously not ready to receive a jug of my love. So I?ll just pour it in someone else?s coffee.
[Love] [Jarod Kintz] [Coffee] [Nonsense] [Labels] [Receive] [Label] [Unprepared] [Reception]

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When I turn thirty, in thirty days or so, I might be feeling old, so I?ll probably call my grandma up, because as old as I?ll feel, she?ll be feeling older. Twelve years older.
[Jarod Kintz] [Age] [Birthday] [Nonsense] [Old] [Old Age] [Grandma] [Thirty]

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I?ll tug at your breasts like a thirsty child. Try not to burn your nipples in my hot coffee. While you?re at it, I also like sugar in my coffee.
[Jarod Kintz] [Coffee] [Drink] [Child] [Thirsty] [Nonsense] [Breasts] [Sugar] [Breastfeeding] [Nipples]

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Can`t you see that I`m only advising you to beg yourself not to be so dumb? Titus Petronius Niger
[Humour] [Irony] [Stupidity] [Nonsense] [Text] [Ancient] [Trimalchio] [The Satyricon] [Satyre]

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Love gives you wings. Icarus and the Challenger both had wings, and so did my first love letter, after I folded it up and flung it at my crush.
[Love] [Jarod Kintz] [Absurd] [Space] [Nonsense] [Wings] [Crush] [Flung] [Icarus] [Love Letter] [Explosion] [Challenger]

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My love may be invisible, but that doesn?t mean you can?t taste it. (It tastes like a sonic boom, only not as bitter).
[Love] [Jarod Kintz] [Absurd] [Strange] [Nonsense] [Bitter] [Invisible] [Taste] [Sonic Boom]

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Have you ever heard a blindfolded octopus unwrap a cellophane-covered bathtub?
[Fantasy] [Kids] [Absurd] [Fiction] [Nonsense] [Silly] [Sound] [Hearing] [Bathtub] [Norton Juster] [Octopus]

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I want to meet a woman named Sherry who only drinks brandy, and a woman named Brandy who only drinks sherry. Then I?ll offer each one of them one magical night of sex with me, in the form of two of my clones.
[Jarod Kintz] [Women] [Sex] [Alcohol] [Magic] [Woman] [Night] [Nonsense] [Clones] [Magical] [Drinks] [Nocturnal] [Offer] [Sherry]

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Conspiracy theorists like to claim NASA?s moon landing was faked. Well of course it was! But the biggest conspiracy of all is the Columbus landed in the new world in the late 15th century. There is no new world. It simply doesn?t exist. And Amerigo Vespucci? He was a character out of Walt Disney?s diary.
[Jarod Kintz] [Character] [Absurd] [Diary] [Conspiracy] [Fake] [Nonsense] [Moon] [Disney] [Columbus] [Century] [Conspiracy Theory] [Nasa] [Faked] [Moon Landing] [Amerigo Vespucci] [Conspiracy Theorists] [15Th Century] [New World]

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Quick! Hide under my 3:33 am, but don?t pet my 3:33 pm.
[Jarod Kintz] [Time] [Absurd] [Nonsense] [Pet] [3 33] [Quick]

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A little nonsense now and then is cherished by the wisest men. Willy Wonka
[Nonsense]

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Smee! Raise the Ladies!
[Nonsense] [Dave Barry]

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But Noodynaady's actual ingrate tootle is of come into the garner mauve and thy nice are stores of morning and buy me a bunch of iodines.
[James Joyce] [Nonsense] [Gibberish]