Nonsense Quotes

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Totally mad. Utter nonsense. But we'll do it because it's brilliant nonsense.
[Douglas Adams] [Nonsense]

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Nonsense is to sense, as shade to light; it heightens effect
[Nonsense] [Frederick Saunders]

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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?
[Lewis Carroll] [Nonsense] [Mad Hatter]

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We are no longer the knights who say Ni! We are now the knights who say ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing!
[Change] [Nonsense] [Graham Chapman] [Silly Quotes]

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Every night I cuddle with a blob of unbaked clay I fashioned in the shape of a woman. But that?s what being in love is all about.
[Love] [Jarod Kintz] [Women] [Absurd] [Woman] [Night] [Ridiculous] [Nonsense] [Clay] [Cuddle] [Sculpture] [Snuggle] [Blob]

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Read the directions and directly you will be directed in the right direction.
[Lewis Carroll] [Nonsense]

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Xxxx xxxx x xxxx, xxxxx xxx x xxx xxx x xxxx. Xxxx xxxx xxxx x xxxxx xxxx xx Xxxxxxx.
[Funny] [Nonsense] [Pseudonymous Bosch] [Pseudonymous] [The Name Of This Book Is Secret] [Boch]

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Despite marking the spot, Generation X has no treasure. How could they, when I dug it up first?
[Jarod Kintz] [Absurd] [Treasure] [Nonsense] [Digging] [Map] [Generation] [X Marks The Spot] [Generation X] [Treasure Hunter]

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I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.
[Money] [Rich] [Nonsense] [Steve Martin]

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You could empty the trash and my love for you still wouldn?t fit inside. But just because it won?t fit, doesn?t mean you shouldn?t empty the trash.
[Love] [Jarod Kintz] [Absurd] [Ridiculous] [Nonsense] [Trash]

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When I turn thirty, in thirty days or so, I might be feeling old, so I?ll probably call my grandma up, because as old as I?ll feel, she?ll be feeling older. Twelve years older.
[Jarod Kintz] [Age] [Birthday] [Nonsense] [Old] [Old Age] [Grandma] [Thirty]

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I?ll tug at your breasts like a thirsty child. Try not to burn your nipples in my hot coffee. While you?re at it, I also like sugar in my coffee.
[Jarod Kintz] [Coffee] [Child] [Drink] [Thirsty] [Nonsense] [Breasts] [Sugar] [Breastfeeding] [Nipples]

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To make my meal in a box taste better, I decided to tweak the logo, rather than the ingredients.
[Jarod Kintz] [Food] [Design] [Box] [Nonsense] [Cooking] [Graphic Design] [Chef] [Meal] [Logo] [Package] [Ingredients]

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Love gives you wings. Icarus and the Challenger both had wings, and so did my first love letter, after I folded it up and flung it at my crush.
[Love] [Jarod Kintz] [Absurd] [Space] [Nonsense] [Wings] [Crush] [Flung] [Explosion] [Love Letter] [Challenger] [Icarus]

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I want to go to Martha?s Vineyard. I have an aunt named Martha. And an uncle by that name. Neither one is related to me.
[Jarod Kintz] [Relationships] [Family] [Travel] [Name] [Nonsense] [Vacation] [Aunt] [Uncle] [Related] [Relative] [Martha S Vineyard] [Martha]

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I made myself an I Love Jennifer jacket out of my old I Love Jenn jacket. Two girls, one continuous love. The I Love Jennifer is a little off-center, but then so am I. Better than being self-centered, as my clone would probably say.
[Love] [Jarod Kintz] [Women] [Absurd] [Devotion] [Commitment] [Strange] [Clothing] [Clone] [Nonsense] [Stitching] [Jacket] [Tailored] [Love Interest] [I Love Jenn] [I Love Jennifer]

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My love may be invisible, but that doesn?t mean you can?t taste it. (It tastes like a sonic boom, only not as bitter).
[Love] [Jarod Kintz] [Absurd] [Strange] [Nonsense] [Bitter] [Taste] [Invisible] [Sonic Boom]

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I want to meet a woman named Sherry who only drinks brandy, and a woman named Brandy who only drinks sherry. Then I?ll offer each one of them one magical night of sex with me, in the form of two of my clones.
[Jarod Kintz] [Women] [Sex] [Alcohol] [Woman] [Night] [Magic] [Nonsense] [Clones] [Magical] [Drinks] [Nocturnal] [Offer] [Sherry]

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Conspiracy theorists like to claim NASA?s moon landing was faked. Well of course it was! But the biggest conspiracy of all is the Columbus landed in the new world in the late 15th century. There is no new world. It simply doesn?t exist. And Amerigo Vespucci? He was a character out of Walt Disney?s diary.
[Jarod Kintz] [Character] [Absurd] [Fake] [Conspiracy] [Diary] [Nonsense] [Disney] [Moon] [Columbus] [Century] [Conspiracy Theory] [Nasa] [Amerigo Vespucci] [15Th Century] [Moon Landing] [Faked] [Conspiracy Theorists] [New World]

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Larry Bird looks like a bird, and Johnny Vagina looks like?hey, what is that in the sky?
[Jarod Kintz] [Absurd] [Basketball] [Sky] [Bird] [Nonsense] [Distraction] [Vagina]